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Eviiillll

Soooo.... This is my bible of evilness. This is for when i take over the world muhahahahahaha :3


In the beginning there was a world not the way the Dark Lord wanted. This was a very very bad world where the Dark Lord and her followers were forced to do stuff they did not like and learn stuff that was not useful in any way. Stuff like French and German. So she decided one day something needed to be done. Then the Dark lord took over North Korea. It was from North Korea when the Dark Lord took over the world and purged it from the unworthy. Using her army of followers and mutated animals with 6 eyes, 8 arms with razor sharp fangs and fire breath, the world fell to the might of the Dark Lord. This book describes what you should do as a follower of the Dark Lord and how you should live, who to purge and who to torture.


Remember: the Dark Lord approves of torture of the unworthy! Don’t forget your daily sacrifice!




The ten commandments

1.                 Thou shalt honour the Dark Lord in every way possible

2.                 Thou shalt purge the unworthy

3.                 Thou shalt follow the orders of the disciples of the Dark Lord as if they were the Dark Lord’s orders

4.                 Thou shalt torture

5.                 Thou shalt eat the holy foods as often as possible

6.                 Thou shalt work hard to eradicate the hellish foods chosen by the Dark Lord

7.                 The Dark Lord is final

8.                 The Dark Lord is almighty

9.                 There is no other god but the Dark Lord

10.            Read and honour the uses described in the Bible of Evilness

 

The 7 deadly sins

1.                 Eating one of the hellish foods chosen by the Dark Lord. These are: Sauerkraut, Broccoli, Endive and Kiwi

2.                 Revering any god other than the Dark Lord

3.                 Not doing the daily sacrifice to the Dark Lord, this can be anything from giving money, bringing one of the holy foods, killing one of the unworthy or something the Dark Lord might appreciate

4.                 Not obeying the Dark Lord

5.                 Being retarded, punishable by death

6.                 Thinking about stuff the Dark Lord does not approve of

7.                 Rape, because the Dark Lord is nice.

 

The holy foods

The Dark Lord has chosen several holy foods which should be eaten by her followers preferrably every day. The first and most sacred is French Fries. Why French? Because it is the only good thing the French have ever made and the Dark Lord wishes to include everyone in her ultimate world. This food should be eaten every day at least once and preferrably accompanied by a sauce, most especially mayonaise. The second is cheese. Though on its own not that special it goes perfect with some of the Dark Lord’s other holy foods, like grilled cheese sandwiches or macaroni. The third is bacon. This too should be eaten every day in order to vary your diet because the Dark Lord thinks of everything. Fourth comes the holy pizza. According to the Dark Lord, a truly holy pizza must at least contain cheese, tomato sauce and salami sausage. Other approved additions are pineapple and fries though fries must be eaten off the pizza before consuming the pizza itself. The holy snack of The Dark Lord is crisps. This can be consumed every day and is especially recommended by the Dark Lord herself. The holy sauce of the Dark Lord is mayonaise. Though it is satanic to use mayonaise with pizza, pasta and ice cream it is still one of the holy foods and the only holy sauce.

Because the Dark Lord wishes you to be healthy there is also the holy fruit. This is the banana. It is one of the few fruits considered worth eating by the Dark Lord which are apple, pear and melon. All other fruits are from hell thus satanic.

The holy vegetable is the cauliflower. This is not a flower because flowers are not considered a vegatable but holy plants for they are pretty. It also is one of the very few vegetables considered edible along with carrot, cabbage, tomato and potato.

All forms of meat are sacred. Wheter it is the meat from a cow or a chicken the Dark Lord loves all types of meat so the animals producing them should be treated with love and reverance to honor them for the lovely meat they produce. Any cruelty to animals who produce meat is punishable by death. Unless you wish to volunteer in a scientific experiment in which we use parts of the human body to make our meat even tastier.

The Dark Lord’s vision for the world

The Dark Lord wishes a world of peace and order where her wishes are obeyed at all times. She also wishes certain people to be eradicated from this world. This includes for example retarded people, people who so stupid they look retarded, fat Americans, fat people in general, ugly people, people who are arrogant and annoying, people who think spending billions on culture is a good idea, people who think the Dark Lord is crazy and will never accomplish her ultimate dictature. The capitol of the Dark Lord’s world will be the Netherlands, because this is where the Dark Lord and her desciples were born and thus it should show their awesomeness and authoritah. Including the capitol the surrounding rich, developed European countries and Japan will become the inner circle. Here the Dark Lord and her most trusted followers will live in peace and enjoy the perks of being godly or friends with godly people. This will be a place of prosperity. In the center of the capitol will be the palace of the Dark Lord. This will be a beautiful castle with nice flower gardens around it. It will show the grandeur of the Dark Lord. In the garden there will be bushes in the shape of dinosaurs and Fairy Tail characters. These will be surrounded by nice fountains and flowers. The castle is giant with a large door with dragon handles, the windows painted with dragons and knights, the roof made of diamonds. Inside there will ofcourse be a throne room. The throne of the Dark Lord symbolises the Dark Lord and her ultimate Evilness. The throne is black and in the shape of a dragon with swords as the backrest. It is a large rooms with nice decorated pillars in two rows towards the throne. Between these pillars there is fire because if there is one thing the Dark Lord loves it is fire and stupid people dieing. The pillars should also be decorated with dragons because dragons are sacred. Behind the throne there is a huge window painted with a picture of the DarkLord conquering the world. The dining hall is also very big with giant chandeliers and a very large table, not because the Dark Lord expects many guests but because the Dark Lord loves lots of food. In the castle there are bedrooms for the Dark Lord and her desciples with kingsized beds and decorated in whatever style the Dark Lord and her desciples wish it to be. The torture chambers are a must have for any residence of the Dark Lord. The Dark Lord approves of torture of the unworthy, stupid and arrogant and this is very important in your everyday life. One should always be on the look out for the unworthy and report and stupidity to the Batpolice. Or if you truly wish to please the Dark Lord you can torture them yourself, also to save the Batpolice the trouble of torturing them though this is not a problem. But the most important room, not just for the Dark Lord but for all her followers is the gaming room. Gaming is sacred and must be practiced by all the followers of the Dark Lord for a minimum of one hour per day. The holiest games are any mmorpg games, League of Legends or Minecraft. The Dark Lord encourages all her followers to play these games as much as possible but does not judge those who prefer the Sims. This because the Dark Lord wishes justice for all her followers and being a little weird is encouraged. The Dark Lord also greatly stimulates the development of the virtual reality helmet in order to create her ultimate heaven. This technology is neccesary to create Sword Art Online, Heaven for the Dark Lord and her most trusted followers. Only they will get to go to this ultimate heaven. Education will drastically change under the rule of the Dark Lord. First of all useless facts will become a main part of the education system. The practice of learning interesting small facts about all sorts of random things is encouraged by the Dark Lord. The Trivia Monks are holy people in the innner circle, who have proven to know small facts about many many random subjects which are very interesting and/or funny. For the daily sacrifice it is recommended for most to simply bring the Trivia monks money, holy food or other interesting facts. The second important change is the introduction of Minecraft in schools of all levels. The art of building creatively, building good survival bases, redstone, pixel art and minigames should be practiced several times throughout the year. One may try to please the Dark Lord with amazing build to get approval to become part of the inner circle though  this requires more than just one aweseome creation. League of Legends training is also very important. This is one of the games which the Dark Lord especially approves of so it is recommed for all to play. However all of this education applies only to the members of the inner circle because others are unworthy of education. The Dark Lord needs lots of scientists to create all sorts of things for her dictature. Things like mutated animals and her ultimate Heaven require smart people. Therefore all children take a special test when they are 8 years old. If the Dark Lord concludes them to be smart they will take special education programmes where they can chose to work either on mutation, cloning, virtual reality, game development, game patching, torturing techniques, food development or other technologies. If they turn out to be stupid according to the test they try it once again because the Dark Lord knows tests can fail sometimes. However if they too fail on their second attempt, they will be put down for their sake and that of society. The Dark Lord believes that if we keep killing those who are stupid, eventually there will be no more stupidity left in the world. The Sword Art Online project has the highest priority because the Dark Lord and her desciples will need to be able to go to the ultimate Heaven before they die so they can live forever in happiness and without stupid people. The middle circle will consist of the US and Australia because these are very developed countries though they require cleansing which only the Dark Lord can provide. Also the US have a high concentration of fatty food and fat is good. The middle circle will be for those who the Dark Lord does not really hate but does not like enough to stay in the inner circle. This is also for the victors of the annual hunger games. Because nobody may ever join the inner circle once it has been established though all next generations of people in the inner circle may still stay. Unless the Dark Lord says otherwise, because even if there are rules the Dark Lord may change them at any time she wants. People of the middle circle are allowed to become sort of rich, their maximum amount of money owned is 1.000.000. This is because only those in the inner circle may truly be rich because they are enlightened by the Dark Lord. People of the middle circle are also allowed to get education. If they study hard enough they can become scientists to serve the Dark Lord. The middle circle is for those not hated by the Dark Lord but not enlightened enough to be in the inner circle. The outer circle is for the poor, stupid and whoever else the Dark Lord wishes to be there. It is a place of poverty and hell. Survival is difficult as most of the food is produced only for the middle and inner circle. Furthermore all children between 12 and 18 years old will have to participate in the hunger games. Only one will be the victor and will be given a house in the inner circle and he or she may choose 3 people to take along to their new home. They will also be granted a special education programme where they will be taught to do some minor job in the middle circle. This is all they will get because the Dark Lord has no favourites except for her desciples. The outer circle will consist out of all the poor countries in the world. In the outer circle the only education provided is the one neccesary to produce the specific material chosen for your town to produce. The Dark Lord has a list on which every town in the world is assigned with the production of a certain material. This is one of the Dark Lord’s ways to create order in a world full of chaos. The outer circle will have lots of plantations and mines and factories in order to produce everything the Dark Lord needs. The people of the outer circle will get absolutely nothing. For the Dark Lord despises those who are stupid and annoy her. Therefore the only fitting punishment for many, is suffering in poverty untill they die. They will wish they die in the hunger games because torture by the Dark Lord is worse than anything. Japan is the vacation island for the Dark Lord and her desciples. Here they can relax from all the annoying people and plot ways to kill them. Because annoying people should die, this is the Dark Lord’s wish. Ofcourse all people living there must be deported to other countries, execept for those serving the Dark Lord like cooks and maids. This is will be their piece of heaven in a world corrupted by stupid people. The primary research centre will also be in Japan. Here the Dark Lord’s scientists will work on creating the ultimate heaven. After the ultimate heaven is created, the Dark Lord, her desciples and those who get approval will go there to live forever. However their clones will continue to rule the world because all stupidity must be purged.

' 'The day the Dark Lord created money

When the world was  in chaos people used different kinds of money. This was very confusing and inefficient so the Dark Lord came with a solution. In the world of the Dark Lord everyone should only use the money she has created which is the Qro. Ofcourse prices vary for the people in the outer, middle and inner circle so the Dark Lord has created a handy list for all to use.

Thing

Price for outer circle

Price for middle circle

Price for inner circle

Bread and bread like things

10,00 Qro

9,00 Qro

FREE

Butter and butter like things

12,00 Qro

10,00 Qro

FREE

Cheese, milk and other dairy products that are not butter

20,00 Qro

18,00 Qro

FREE

Meat used with bread

25,00 Qro

22,00 Qro

FREE

Meat used for dinner etc.

50,00 Qro

45,00 Qro

FREE

Pizza

45,00 Qro

40,00 Qro

FREE

Lemonade, cola, and other soft drinks

25,00 Qro

20,00 Qro

FREE

Vegetables

1,00 Qro

15,00 Qro

FREE

Potatoes

35,00 Qro

32,00 Qro

FREE

Fruit

2,00 Qro

20,00 Qro

FREE

Crisps

100,00 Qro

90,00 Qro

FREE

Cookies

80,00 Qro

75,00 Qro

FREE

Candy

150,00 Qro

135,00 Qro

FREE

Alcoholic beverages

200,00 Qro

180,00 Qro

FREE

Internet

1000,00 Qro/month

850,00 Qro/month

FREE

Computer

10000,00 Qro

7500,00 Qro

FREE

TV

10000,00 Qro

7500,00 Qro

FREE

Gaming consoles

5000,00 Qro

4000,00 Qro

FREE

Games

25000,00 Qro

20000,00 Qro

FREE

Board games

1,00 Qro

100,00 Qro

FREE

Things needed for medical reasons

10000,00 Qro

100000,00 Qro

FREE

Paintings

1,00 Qro

1,00 Qro

FREE

Living room furniture

5000,00 Qro

5000,00 Qro

FREE

Kitchen furniture

6000,00 Qro

5500,00 Qro

FREE

Bathroom furniture

4000,00 Qro

3500,00 Qro

FREE

Bedroom furniture

3500,00 Qro

3250,00 Qro

FREE

Phones

1000,00 Qro

950,00 Qro

FREE

Apps

50000,00 Qro

40000,00 Qro

FREE

Paper

250,00 Qro

200,00 Qro

FREE

Pens and pencils

100,00 Qro

90,00 Qro

FREE

Erasers

80,00 Qro

75,00 Qro

FREE

Guns

FORBIDDEN

FORBIDDEN

FREE

Knives

FORBIDDEN

FORBIDDEN

FREE

Swords

FORBIDDEN

FORBIDDEN

FREE

Movies

600,00 Qro

550,00 Qro

FREE

Cinema tickets

500,00 Qro

400,00 Qro

FREE

Tickets for amusement parks and such

2000,00 Qro

2000,00 Qro

FREE

Tickets for swimming pools

500,00 Qro

400,00 Qro

FREE

Permit to be allowed to go to the beach

FORBIDDEN

300000,00 Qro

FREE

Explosives

FORBIDDEN

FORBIDDEN

FREE

Education

500,00 Qro

400,00 Qro

FREE

Holy foods

50000,00 Qro

45000,00 Qro

FREE

Water

150,00 Qro/L

100,00 Qro/L

FREE

Bowls and plates for food only

100,00 Qro

100,00 Qro

FREE

Books

500,00 Qro

400,00 Qro

FREE

Stuff to paint with

500,00 Qro

450,00 Qro

FREE

Permits

3000,00 Qro

3000,00 Qro

FREE

Approval from the Dark Lord

30000000,00 Qro

30000000,00 Qro

FREE

 

' 'The different ministeries of the Dark Lord

 

To rule her world of ultimate evilness the Dark Lord has assigned several ministeries in charge of everything to guide the people.

The ministery of Truth

They are there to make sure you only get to know the truth. They are in charge of getting rid of those who are against the Dark Lord. They also develop new torturing techniques. They rehabilitate people who have gone astray from the true path. Remember that the only true path is the path described in the Bible of Evilness. Anyone who commits a crime within certain limits of severity are eligible for rehabilitation. This will include a minimum 10-year holiday to camp Siberia. Here people who have gone astray will be taught the Dark Lord’s just ways. Depending on how well a person learns the ministery of Truth may decide that you can leave early. However this is only the case where one shows exceptional love for the Dark Lord and the ministery of Truth has faith that you will not go astray again.

The ministery of military stuff

As you may have guessed this ministery governs the troops of the Dark Lord. The different divisions are; The warriors of the land, the sea bitches, the airborne squad, the mutated creature guidance squad, the grenadiers, the elite squad, the evil guard. The warriors of the land are the common foot soldiers who stand in the front lines and fight nobely for the Dark Lord. The sea bitches are stationed on ships and guard the seas. They also peform beach landings. The airborne squad flies the latest planes and bring death from the sky. They also guard the missile launch pads and need direct permission from the Dark Lord to launch them. The mutated creature guidance squad is there to guide the creatures of the Dark Lord into battle and make sure they are deployed at the right position. The grenadiers provide explosive support for the warriors of the land. They also take care of any civilian bomb danger. The elite squad are the elite warriors send out into battle. They will lead the warriors of the land into battle and are among the most powerful soldiers in the army. The evil guard is the Dark Lord’s personal guard. Handpicked by the Dark Lord they are the finest soldier in the existing world.

The ministery of pizza

This ministery issues guidelines on how pizzas should be made. This is very important as pizza is one of the holy foods thus should be perfect according to the Dark Lord. Everything from allowed toppings to the approved colors of the dough is decided here. Ofcourse the ministery is open to suggestions from the people. The Dark Lord must personally approve of all changes in the guidelines.

 

The desciples of the Dark Lord

The right hand of the Dark Lord is 3D-Saber. He is the minister of things that interest Kevin. He also takes care of Japan. He should have extra respect from the servants because he is a gamer which is especially approve by the Dark Lord.

The left hand of the Dark Lord is Anne. She will cleanse the world with her knowledge of useless facts. She is in charge of the ministery propaganda and education and the Trivia Monks. The Dark Lord approves of her great knowledge of useless facts and all should strive to know more about all sorts of useless facts.

The last desciple of the Dark Lord is Luka. He is in charge of everything that is food and taking of the sacred food store ‘Enjoy’.

The ultimate heaven

Once the ultimate heaven is achieved the Dark Lord will be very pleased and select the people who get to come with her to this ultimate heaven. The ultimate heaven will be a world like Sword Art Online. The Dark Lord and her chosen ones can choose a class and then live as if it was Sword Art Online which is their ultimate goal. Here they can live forever in happiness and without worries of the stupid ruining their world. For once the Dark Lord and her chosen ones are in, it will be closed off so nobody can ever get in or out anymore. This way the world can stay clean of the stupid and the retarded. The Dark Lord is a great fan of mmorpgs so this is the ultimate heaven. The Dark Lord and her desciples will have the ability to alter the world and create new ones connected to it. So they will be happy forever. The Dark Lord wishes the people of earth too a world without stupidity, therefore her clones will rule the world so the world can be cleansed even without her actual presence.

The Batpolice

They are the special forces of the Ministery of Truth. They track people down and respond to the concerns of good servants of the Dark Lord. It is they who will gradually cleanse the world of stupid people and infidels. They can be recognised by their long, black leather coats and mostly black clothes except for a red badge with the mark of the Batpolice. They are always watching and carrying out the wishes of the Dark Lord. You have been warned. All blasphemie is punishable by death. The Dark Lord’s wish is final. Should the Dark Lord decide that you have to die they will carry out her orders no matter what. All death sentences are carried out in the way it’s most painful for you. This usually means long tortureing and using your fears against you. A favourite of the Dark Lord is the technique which involves strapping a pot with rats to your belly, and then heating up the pot. If you are lucky the Dark Lord herself will come and personally torture you. Consider this to be an honor and hope that your end will be quick and beg for mercy. Remember though, that the Dark Lord has no mercy for the weak and stupid.

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